So…I had planned to do a bookmark, but then God really put this in my heart and I don’t know. I guess I just needed to ask God for help more than I wanted to help others.

The light fades, it’s a dying ember.
Yet here I am walking in a daze.
What good is it to keep in mind the good and remember?
Don’t you get that it’s all covered in a haze.

I can’t see good or bad.
It’s all just there,
And it seems to grow till I’m mad,
And that’s not fair.

But I just have to be positive, right?
Just keep going and going it will all be better.
So when does that turn into something you fight?
It was good when I was a go-getter.

But then I became obsessed.
And now you say to stop and rest.
Don’t you see that I’ve been possessed.
That I have to finish life as some ultimate quest.

Will there be treasure in this ending?
Or will it just be the same till I’m dead?
Falling, getting up, remembering, falling, never mending, never ending.
But just be positive, remember the good, that’s what you said.

As if the good is the only thing worth keeping in mind.
As if I don’t know that an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.
I know good is here.
But I can’t forget the bad that is so near.

I can’t.

I’m not going to go on like this anymore.
I’m not going to get stuck in this cycle.
I’m done being possessed.

Good, bad, some, none, 
I don’t know what I remember.
But I know what’s in my head.
I don’t want it to grow and possess me.

So please, please, just, just Help me.

If I say, “Surely the darkness will cover me, and the night will be the only light around me. Even the darkness is not dark to You (God) and conceals nothing from You, but the night shines as bright as the day; Darkness and light are alike to You.

Psalms 139:11-12 AMP

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