And that’s not the half of it, when you throw in the daily pressures and anxieties of all the churches. When someone gets to the end of his rope, I feel the desperation in my bones. When someone is duped into sin, an angry fire burns in my gut.2 Corinthians 11:28-29
Story (Blurb) Time!
By the time I stepped outside, the leaves were on fire. Or at least they were the colors that I heard that fire was: red, orange, and yellow. They ate the solid color, I think it’s called brown, of the tree they were on. But they didn’t eat the girl that jumped in them. That was the first time I saw her.
She laughed as she popped up from the burning leaves. Everything about her was solid. Her solid dark hair and eyes were brown like a tree that anchored my feet. Her solid skin was covered in small dots like dark real stars I could touch. Her solid, not white smile warmed me more than the pure white sun ever could. She was solid, real, there, and beautiful.
“You’re such a weirdo sis!” Kevin Conner, my best friend laughed. I blinked and the world turned back to the shifting murky grays, blacks, and whites. There were no solid colors, and nothing was on fire. The world was as it always had been, colorless, cold, and distant.
A colorless world was a real-world for a Blake. My grandfather said it was a gift that our ancestors asked for. A way to keep us safe from the pain of love. My mom said it was a curse put on a faithless Blake, like my father. I was just a teenager. All I knew is that colors never existed for me. They shouldn’t. Yet, those leaves burned.
Maybe it was a fluke. People said I had a wild imagination. I just imagined the colors, or it was some sort of joke. Either way, it wasn’t real. Burning leaves or solid colors didn’t exist for him.
“HELLO! Earth to Jamie! Let’s go!” My best friend Kevin was real with his dreary gray hair and almost black eyes. The mix of grays, whites, and blacks around me was real. Katherine’s smile that was still bright, warm, and only white was real. So why did the leaf Katherine gave me as we walked to their house, burn red?
The short thing above was a nice little piece I wrote when my sister and I played a writing prompt game. The prompt was the first sentence. It was fun and I loved how I had to delve deep into being descriptive yet, I couldn’t be descriptive because the character didn’t know how to be descriptive. Then God showed me the amazingly descriptive and emotional scripture in 2 Corinthians. Through those two things I learned something amazing: we’re emotional.
Shocking right? A human being is supposed to feel. What a mind-blowing discovery!
For real though, we are supposed to feel. Everything from the intense and uncomfortable emotions Paul describes in the scripture, to the shocking whirlwind amazement Jamie in the blurb feels. We’re supposed to feel. Our world, the people around us, us ourselves, are going through a lot right now. Emotions are high and running around rampant. You can’t just stuff them in a closet and leave them to rot. The world isn’t going to be less painful if you don’t feel. Your heart will still be broken and sharp, cutting even yourself. But your emotions can’t control you either or you will be dragged along their running course, wearing yourself out.
So what can we do?
We have to go to God. No more, “I was angry,” or “I did it for love.” How about we go to Love before we act? We go to God, the one who created us and our emotions. He knows how to handle the messy mix of emotions, like a painter who knows how to turn a messy paint blob into a necessary shadow. He knows and wants to hear us express our emotions to Him as Paul did in the scripture. But if we don’t go because of shame, fear, or the fact that we like acting out in emotions, then are we letting God be God, our Father?
Our Father who wants to hear and help us express all these messy emotions. Our Father who can help turn the mess of emotions into a beautiful masterpiece. Our Father who loves and created us with all of our emotions that make us uncomfortable, happy, excited, sad, scared. He loves us when we’re emotional. Because He hopes to catch us when we run to Him to talk about it.
But, are we, you, I, running to Him to talk about it?
Where do you go, what do you do when your emotions are causing a commotion?